Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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