i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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