Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
