somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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