You're a womanizer and a bitch.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
