Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
