Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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