Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
