It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
