she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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