Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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