Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
