need another drink. this is the easiest way
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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