Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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