Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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