he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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