I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
3pm strippers are depressing
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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