I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
