Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
