Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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