fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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