Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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