It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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