you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize