Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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