Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
