I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
They left me at home... I'm a liability
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize