In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
