It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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