I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize