Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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