Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize