when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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