As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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