is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
