her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
