the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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