Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
