WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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