the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
