Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
