Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you made out with another girl for some wings
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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