He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
