Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
