he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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