I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she told me i tasted like america
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
