Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
