He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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