I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I touched a dick in church today
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
