did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
