Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
