my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize