Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize