i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
