I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Randomize